“Genitals are our private organs used for excretion & reproduction.”
Why should I talk to my children about Genitals?
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To ensure that your child has a positive outlook towards all parts of their body
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To ensure that they get facts about their genitals from a trustworthy source
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To empower them, so they have the ability to identify & report abuse
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To acknowledge your own discomfort. Talking to them will help you feel more comfortable too.
How should I talk to them ?
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As you are teaching your children to name other parts of their body like ears, nose, elbows; there is no harm in teaching them the names of their privates like Penis and Vulva.
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You may feel some discomfort , because most of us have been brought up associating feeling of dirtiness with our genitals & it sticks to us. But, it’s important to remind yourself that children do not associate sexual feelings with genitalia like adults do and their questions are out of curiosity.
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They can talk about them, like any other organ in our body. For example, you may teach your children, ‘eyes help us to see’ or ‘Stomach helps us digest food’ , similarly, they can be told that the penis or vulva and anus help us remove waste from our body.
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Depending on your level of comfort & their curiosity , you may also tell them that the penis and vulva also help to make babies.
Bare in Mind !
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Do not show discomfort or disgust in front of your child as they form impressions easily.
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If you don’t know something, tell them that you will tell them later and follow through.
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Be careful with the words you use when referencing genitals and DO NOT negative statements like, “Shame! Shame!”, “Chee!”, or “Bad Boy/Girl” etc. when talking about them in front of others.
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You might encounter situations when you will have to ask them not to touch themselves in front of others, and it is important that you stay calm and politely remind them that they should not be touching their private parts in front of others.
(Children touch their genitalia because there are a lot of nerve endings in the region and it gives them a feeling of pleasure, but they don’t necessarily have associated sexual feelings before adolescence)
Hopefully, this will help improve your relationship with your child as well as empower you & them to have a more positive outlook towards their body.
Have you tried talking to your children yet? Share your experiences in the comments below.
