“The space around us is our personal space, and usually varies in distance from 2-4 feet. If someone unwanted enters our personal space, we may feel uneasy and uncomfortable.”
Why should I teach my children about personal space?
It provides a physical reference of where the child’s boundaries may be as well as those of others. Teaching children about personal space makes them more considerate about the feelings of others & understand that everyone is different.
Start here..
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Ask the child to describe a situation when they may have felt uncomfortable. They may give answers like they felt uncomfortable when someone took their toy or when teacher scolded them, etc. instead of the context of personal space.
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If answers cannot be used to explain, you can share your own personal experiences like when you might have felt uneasy like in a metro or a crowded market.
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Once the child has understood and is able to pin-point this feeling of discomfort, explain to them that their personal space is like a bubble around them, and if some one we do not know steps into the bubble, it makes us feel uncomfortable.
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For older children, explaining the definition with an example should be enough.
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Finally, after explaining, ask them again, if they have faced a situation, where someone was in their personal space and made them feel uneasy.
Teach it with an activity..
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Involves 2 or more people (so, if you have two children, you can conduct same activity alternating between them both)
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Ask the child to sit or stand at the particular spot , the other person must sit or stand from the child at a good (comfortable) distance.
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It’s good to ask the child how they feel about the distance at this point, so they have a comparison.
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Move closer & closer to the child, until they are in a situation to either push back, ask you to back away, or try to get up and leave. At this point, it is important to go back to the distance they are comfortable with and ask how the closeness made them feel.
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This activity can be repeated every few months or once In the while according to your needs. You can also teach or discuss with the child on how to ask someone to move away from them by including it in the activity above.
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You can use statements like, ” You are standing too close to me and I feel uncomfortable, could you please move away?” or “You are in my personal space, and I don’t like it, would you mind moving?”. (You can always use your own version according to the comfort or age of the child)
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Also ensure that the child knows that they always have the option to move away as well and that its okay.
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They should also understand that every one has “personal space” and they should be mindful about it & avoid causing other discomfort as well. They may be taught statements like, “Is it okay if I sit/stand closer to you?” if they are unsure of the person’s “personal space”
Bare in Mind !
Even though you may use a fun activity to teach your children, ensure a slight level of seriousness, so that the child pays attention to the task at hand.
You can start teaching your children about personal space as soon as you think they are capable of understanding feelings and experiences (Usually, Age 4 onwards)
Was your child able to grasp what you were explaining?
Please share your experiences or issues you faced when teaching your children in the comments below.
